People change, but marriage can still last a lifetime

22. June 2012 20:36


I recently heard a story about a family friend. She married right out of college, thought she had a great life in the making, but then the real world hit. She felt that her and her husband had grown apart. She convinced herself that divorce was the only solution. She finally got the courage to call and tell him that she was leaving. His reaction, “ok, you can have the house, I’m keeping my car, we will divide everything else up later”. No argument, not fighting for what he has, just taking the easy way out. This same story plays out way too often in America. Somehow, people have convinced themselves that marriages are disposable and to just end it if things get hard.


I have heard all kinds of reasons (excuses) for divorce and most of them center around one or both individuals ‘changing’. The fact is; people do change, circumstances change, life changes, but your marriage can change and grow too. My wife and I have been married for almost 12 years. It has been really, it has been really bad. We have loved, we have fought, and we have been through counseling. We both have said and done things that hurt each other. Despite all of this, 12 years later, we love each other more today than we ever have.


Ephesians 5:25 tells us Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her” (HCSB). Love you wife as Christ loved the church. Those are some very powerful words. Christ lived his life and died for the Church (and all of us). Are we living our lives with our spouse, or are we living our life for our spouse? It is so easy to sit and think about someone else’s flaws. “If only he would….”, “I can’t stand it when she….”, but how much time do we spend considering our own actions and motives? It is very easy to get set in our daily routine, loose the newlywed excitement, and get comfortably in our relationship. However this is not excuse to let your love and devotion to your spouse slip.


A great marriage requires work and dedication. Love and happiness doesn’t happen by chance, but with some work, you can build your marriage into something that can survive even the toughest challenges life can throw at you! “..‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:5-6(NIV). “Until Death do us part”. We all said it standing at the altar, saying our vows before God. Remember what you vowed. Remember that God is with you both. If you keep him in the center of your marriage, trust in Him, and truly love your spouse like Christ loved the Church, you too can have a Fireproof marriage that will last a lifetime!


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